I rolled over in my bed this morning and tried to focus on my digital clock so I could see the time. Through the slits of my sleep filled eyes I managed to discern the numerals - 4:22 - much too early for me to get up for the day. I turned over and pulled up the duvet, my legs were cold. I left my patio door open a crack or two when I retired, as I do every evening. I like to sleep with fresh air in my room. However, the morning breezes sweep up the hall and over my bed and my legs under the covers, which in summer means a sheet and a cotton spread with the duvet rolled up at the bottom.
My body insisted I get out of bed for a drink of water. By this time my brain is fully functional and processing a great deal of information. The chances of going back to sleep grows dimmer by each passing moment.Nevertheless, I did creep back under the covers and the down comforter began to warm my lower extremities.
Changes are coming into my life shortly, in fact things have already been set in motion. Even though I have experienced many changes in my life I am upset at the thought of further downsizing and having to completely re-arrange my life one more time. I am comfortable in my apartment, it has become home to me. I have finally found a place for everything I use in my daily pursuit. I no longer have to stand and ponder the whereabouts of my planner or where I put my stock-pot when I want to make some soup, or the light bulbs I keep in reserve. I have always had a place for everything and every move I make has more or less undone my system and I must begin again. I have always kept my vegetable peeler in a spot of its own so I don't have to rummage for it. I tried several places before I found a spot that would work. Now I will have to find a new place. I like things tidy and organized, although if you could see my Work room you would thing otherwise. Even that space has an organization I can rely on.
So as these thoughts rumbled around in my brain I began to be more awake than asleep but still do not wish to get out of bed. In desperation I propped myself up on my pillow and picked up the book that I am close to finishing and I read until it was done- which was by then seven-thirty. When I closed the covers I was brought back from the post-Victorian era and through the early nineteen -thirtys ending in nineteen-thirty-six when Edward viii of England abdicated the throne to marry the women he loved. I stepped out of bed with the last lines of the former King's parting thoughts ringing in my mind. I remember all that happening just three years before World War Two was declared in Canada against Germany in 1939. Seeing the Academy Award picture: "The King's Speech" I felt as though I wanted to step back into my life and re-visit the Historical past and again view my own changes at the end of the War.
Edward (David Windsor) had to leave behind his English heritage, his siblings and parents, the life he had been trained to lead as Prince of Wales, to serve the British people throughout the British Empire. An immense change. I had to leave my own British heritage behind and denounce my allegiance to the King (David's brother Albert) my parents and my sibling and all that was a part of me in my growing up years, to come to the United States with my husband. Not so drastic for me perhaps but nevertheless unerving, My British Canadian life was suddenly diminished and a new political status in my life begun.
We are all programmed for change so why do I fear it so much? Most of us have need to strive and create,even so it is our inner fear that rests deep within us that resists changes of any consequences. We are comfortable. To be productive builds self-esteem, gives us a persona, validates our lives, gives us good reason to get out of bed in the morning and take up the day - all these things feed on change. We could grow mouldy standing in the same place no matter how comfortable it feels.
Changes challenge us but it should not cause us to fear. Still I feel some anxiety. I check off in my mind all that this change means, I will miss my friends. Life for me will be different in many ways, the climate will be different, it is a rural environment. I must create a new path, new friends, daily life will change. I feel many emotions. I have already lost some freedom due to the aging process but I must move with the flow. As I read the Duke of Windsors Memoirs where he wrote about the events in his life that brought great changes into his life, I decided that whther Kings or ordinary people, life is a long series of changes, were it not so we would not grow in stature or develop our character. The adventure of just living stretches our minds, can deepen our understanding, our intellect and separates the sheep from the goats. All our lives are subject to changes that take place and turns our lives to explore new avenues. Eventually we are all brought to the same Exodus and we should all exit as a different and better person than we once were when we began this life's journey. You will remember the little ditty we used to sing when we were children, at least in my generation- it goes like this -
Monday's child is full of grace
Tuesday's child is fair of face
Wednesday's child is full of woe
THURSDAY'S child has far to go
Friday's child is loving and giving
Saturday's child must work for his living
But thed child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonnie, and fair, happy and gay (meaning hoyful)
I am a Thursday's child. I have never really understood what is meant by "far to go'
but it sounds like a lot of change is involved. Have a happy day!
Photo: Chelsea Fuss.
